Maybe it’s Time to Let the Old Ways Die

So many of us think we are good with change. We like variety and new challenges. Until it happens. To us. Then it is shit and scary and we are vulnerable and get frustrated and nothing works and why can’t everything go back to how it was when we knew what to do and how to be. When we were safe.

Change. Sigh. I’ve written about this before when it happened to me in the workplace and it was crappy. One thing I’ve got on change now is I know to wade through it. I know what I need emotionally, physically, mentally and even spiritually. I can ask when I need help and that’s okay. I know I need to also change how I live for a bit and get more support and that’s okay too.  I know I’m going to be so happy and feel like I have kicked some goals when I learn how to navigate the new place I’m in and apart from feeling all new at it and clumsy – mastering a challenge is so rewarding!

I know I will tell everyone how shit it is and I hate it, whether it is a new job or a new house or a new experience. It’s just until I muddle through and fail and try again and then finally get it right. I hated starting a new job because I hated navigating new systems, being allocated new passwords and working out politics and who could be my friends. I even hated the training and processes because I just always want to get in and get started on the job. I don’t like being the new person.

The things I suggest to clients going through change are:

• Go easy on yourself, no one expects you to be able to get everything right first go. If you are in the workplace, getting people to help you out can work in your favour because you find out pretty quickly who are the angels and who are the arses. Cut yourself some slack and take your time in the first few weeks. People want to help you and get to know you.
• Connect – If you are a connector and need to chat to your friends and share your experience with them, do that. Over the phone, or in person. They may have some good tips or know exactly what it is like to be where you are. They also might want to find out if you can get them any good deals or discounts or benefits. They’re only human.
• Get some exercise – all that new information and being in a new environment can get overwhelming and impact on your sleep if you don’t get some fresh air and exhaust yourself physically.
• Sleep – you may need to go to bed earlier because of all the new information and new processes, passwords, network systems, people’s names.  Really you only need to know payroll’s name in the first instance.
• Cut back– You may want to celebrate and get piss-pants drunk or you might feel like you need more coffee to get through the day as well as sugary treats. This will only make you all speedy and jangly and likely to rush things that need to be taken slowly. It will increase anxiety and make it hard to fall asleep. Plus hangovers are a bother.
• Meditate – I found this tremendously helpful when going through a redundancy. I was stressed, anxious and continuously thinking about the future, my fears, having to live in a caravan because I had no idea about what I was going to do for a job. If you don’t want to meditate, go for a swim, look at sparkling water, go to the beach or shower. It’s the same thing.
• Support and self care – whatever works for you, it may be a massage or a manicure or a day on the golf course or paying a cleaner for a month. Book it in for this period of transition. You are learning and becoming a new thing, growing neural pathways and letting go of old ways.

And you are going to be amazing.

Here’s the link to the title song because Bradly Cooper has a surprisingly beautiful voice.